This might sound strange to a lot of people, but it took me until a few weeks ago to see No Holds Barred. Yes, the movie that Vince McMahon funded back in 1988 and came out in the theaters on June 2, 1989, it took me 25 years to watch this piece of 1980s magic. The movie that set up Zeus’ arrival in the World Wrestling Federation was purchased by me on DVD in the very beginning in January. I sat down in front of the TV at 5:30 in the afternoon and became engrossed in a piece of wrestling history.
My feelings on the flick: I DUG IT.
Yeah, I liked it a lot. I thought, for the most part, it was MY type of cheesy movie. As a guy who loved the Mighty Ducks trilogy, Rookie of the Year, and Ernest Scared Stupid, No Holds Barred just had those over-the-top characters that you can easily define as the protagonist and antagonist. Combine it with unrealistic theatrics and Bill Eadie’s hair shaped like Gary Glitter, and you have an epic flick. I thought it was hilarious.
In Hulk Hogan’s first cinematic exposure since Rocky 3, his portrayal as Rip was simple. Granted, it wasn’t Hogan in Santa with Muscles, but it wasn’t a dreadful job by any means. His lines were simple, he didn’t overextend his reach, and he did his own stunts. The Hulkster didn’t do half bad. I will say, however, that Hulk doing pushups in a Speedo was a little TOO much. With that hitch out of the way, “the Immortal” did a solid job.
Can anyone tell me that you DIDN’T want to see Zeus get his at the end? “The Human Wrecking Machine” didn’t say or do much, but definitely got his stuff in, as they say. Zeus let Mr. Brell and his lackeys handle his talking for him, and really showed off what he was built to do: destroy and dominate anyone that came into his path.
Was Joan Severance a fox, or was Joan Severance a FOX? Good grief, such a beautiful woman. (WRITER’S NOTE: This is strictly professional. Haley, you are still the apple of my eye. And no, I am not sucking up.)
Yet, there were 3 things that stood out the most when it came down to the content within the movie. Again, No Holds Barred wasn’t a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination, but as a person who attempts to understand the philosophy of the WWE and how Vince McMahon ticks, it really opened my eyes to the animosity Mr. McMahon has towards competition, certain performers, and his quirks. Maybe I am looking TOO MUCH into things, but I do have my unique views points on these topics.
Without further hesitation, I think it’s time to make my points:
My feelings on the flick: I DUG IT.
Yeah, I liked it a lot. I thought, for the most part, it was MY type of cheesy movie. As a guy who loved the Mighty Ducks trilogy, Rookie of the Year, and Ernest Scared Stupid, No Holds Barred just had those over-the-top characters that you can easily define as the protagonist and antagonist. Combine it with unrealistic theatrics and Bill Eadie’s hair shaped like Gary Glitter, and you have an epic flick. I thought it was hilarious.
In Hulk Hogan’s first cinematic exposure since Rocky 3, his portrayal as Rip was simple. Granted, it wasn’t Hogan in Santa with Muscles, but it wasn’t a dreadful job by any means. His lines were simple, he didn’t overextend his reach, and he did his own stunts. The Hulkster didn’t do half bad. I will say, however, that Hulk doing pushups in a Speedo was a little TOO much. With that hitch out of the way, “the Immortal” did a solid job.
Can anyone tell me that you DIDN’T want to see Zeus get his at the end? “The Human Wrecking Machine” didn’t say or do much, but definitely got his stuff in, as they say. Zeus let Mr. Brell and his lackeys handle his talking for him, and really showed off what he was built to do: destroy and dominate anyone that came into his path.
Was Joan Severance a fox, or was Joan Severance a FOX? Good grief, such a beautiful woman. (WRITER’S NOTE: This is strictly professional. Haley, you are still the apple of my eye. And no, I am not sucking up.)
Yet, there were 3 things that stood out the most when it came down to the content within the movie. Again, No Holds Barred wasn’t a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination, but as a person who attempts to understand the philosophy of the WWE and how Vince McMahon ticks, it really opened my eyes to the animosity Mr. McMahon has towards competition, certain performers, and his quirks. Maybe I am looking TOO MUCH into things, but I do have my unique views points on these topics.
Without further hesitation, I think it’s time to make my points:
1) KURT FULLER’S BRELL IS VINCE MCMAHON’s INTERPRETATION OF TED TURNER – This might be the easiest and most agreeable point I make today. In 1988, Ted Turner purchased WCW for his network TBS and proceeded to call Vince McMahon once the deal. He has been quoted as saying, “Vince, I’m in the rasslin’ business!” Now, although the WWF was light years beyond the former Jim Crockett Promotions in a mainstream perspective, Vince had to be a little perturbed at the sense of competition. Thus, thanks to the ideas of McMahon and the Hulkster, No Holds Barred came to fruition. Mr. Brell, the head of the World Television Network, wanted to put the World Wrestling Federation out of business and purchase their stars at any cost, namely the WWF champion Rip. Once the company couldn’t succeed, they would run their own show to put the WWF out of business. I believe that with the movie’s simple plot, combined with Brell’s ruthlessness, you can easily say the Ted Turner comparison to Brell is spot on. The eerie realization that Turner and Eric Bischoff attempt to do JUST THAT years later was a weird foresight.
On a complete side note, Kurt Fuller was THE STAR of this flick. He knows how to portray an evil executive. Ghostbusters II and Anger Management show that completely.
On a complete side note, Kurt Fuller was THE STAR of this flick. He knows how to portray an evil executive. Ghostbusters II and Anger Management show that completely.
2) RIP’S BROTHER RANDY WAS A DIG AT “MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE – Now, this is where I truly think people might believe this is a stretch. In the movie, Mark Pellegrino’s Randy was portrayed as someone who Rip looked after and took care of. Ultimately, Randy, who was Rip’s biggest fan as well, was sacrificed by Zeus and absolutely crippled. Rip then took care of Zeus and defended the honor of his disabled brother.
Now, here’s my thinking. In 1988, “Macho Man” Randy Savage became the World Wrestling Federation champion, thanks to the help of Hulk Hogan, at WrestleMania IV. Throughout his entire championship reign, Hogan and Savage were linked at the chain; yet, there were times where Hogan overshadowed the Macho Man. And, despite his intensity on top of the WWF, the Hulkster always bested Macho Madness. Was there a way that through No Holds Barred, Randy Savage was made to look weak in comparison of the Hulkster’s Rip? I legitimately believe that was the case with this character, despite what my friends and confidants believe. Again, it might be a stretch, but anything was and is possible.
3) THE TYPE OF HUMOR AND CHARACTERS WITHIN THE FLICK ARE QUIRKY OF VINCE MCMAHON’S VISION OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT – Going on the basis of how people perceive the tastes of what Vince McMahon likes in wrestling, No Holds Barred would be a precursor to that. Looking at the absolutely jacked Rip and Zeus and seeing how easily they manhandled characters like the Neanderthal and Jake Bullet, who were average shaped competitors, you can see that the muscle guys were the stereotype of what the WWF entailed at the time.
Now, here’s my thinking. In 1988, “Macho Man” Randy Savage became the World Wrestling Federation champion, thanks to the help of Hulk Hogan, at WrestleMania IV. Throughout his entire championship reign, Hogan and Savage were linked at the chain; yet, there were times where Hogan overshadowed the Macho Man. And, despite his intensity on top of the WWF, the Hulkster always bested Macho Madness. Was there a way that through No Holds Barred, Randy Savage was made to look weak in comparison of the Hulkster’s Rip? I legitimately believe that was the case with this character, despite what my friends and confidants believe. Again, it might be a stretch, but anything was and is possible.
3) THE TYPE OF HUMOR AND CHARACTERS WITHIN THE FLICK ARE QUIRKY OF VINCE MCMAHON’S VISION OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT – Going on the basis of how people perceive the tastes of what Vince McMahon likes in wrestling, No Holds Barred would be a precursor to that. Looking at the absolutely jacked Rip and Zeus and seeing how easily they manhandled characters like the Neanderthal and Jake Bullet, who were average shaped competitors, you can see that the muscle guys were the stereotype of what the WWF entailed at the time.
In the eyes of the casual fan, the DOOKIE scene is stupid and makes zero sense towards anything. However, at least to various followers and employees of the company, this is “Vince McMahon 101”. There have been various times where the WWE have had pee, fart, vomit, and yes, poop jokes given to characters and in segments. Tommy Dreamer eating urinal cakes, Natalya farting, the Spirit Squad grabbed crap dropped on them from the ceiling, and Droz projectile vomiting at will are a few examples of McMahon’s humor. The DOOKIE scene plays into the producer’s hand and is a standard of WWE programming. You can easily tell it was a Vince McMahon project. (WRITER’S NOTE: In this particular case, I found it absolutely over-the-top and cheesy. I laughed. It just fit with the over-the-top factor of the flick.)
Lastly, the portrayal of Rip being the never-do-wrong, charity-loving, family driven, superhero wrestler is an absolute portrayal of how characters like Hulk Hogan and John Cena are portrayed in the eyes of the WWE. Whether it’s the “say your prayers” philosophy of Hogan or the “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect” motto of Cena, this is what the modus operandi of what the WWE wants their main event superstars to be like. Rip is the absolute portrayal of this philosophy.
Lastly, the portrayal of Rip being the never-do-wrong, charity-loving, family driven, superhero wrestler is an absolute portrayal of how characters like Hulk Hogan and John Cena are portrayed in the eyes of the WWE. Whether it’s the “say your prayers” philosophy of Hogan or the “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect” motto of Cena, this is what the modus operandi of what the WWE wants their main event superstars to be like. Rip is the absolute portrayal of this philosophy.
The bottom line is this: although these are my very weird observations regarding No Holds Barred, they are just that. They aren’t 100% verified or proven to true. I just honestly believe that there are connections there between the WWF and No Holds Barred that many people might not have noticed until now. Regardless, I actually wish you guys would take the time to find No Holds Barred on VHS or DVD and check it out. You can make your own assumptions for yourself, and most of all, see how Zeus left the big screen and dominated through 1989.
If you don’t mind, I’m going to practice the Rip hand signal now.
Jon Harder
jon@thejonharder.com
If you don’t mind, I’m going to practice the Rip hand signal now.
Jon Harder
jon@thejonharder.com
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